suzy semantic (seussblues) wrote in thekatrix,
suzy semantic
seussblues
thekatrix

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Stop, Collborate, and Listen

i need to say something. i've been thinking this over for a while and i think i need to let my loved ones know. i mean it is only fair that i live openly. i don't need to keep this a secret anymore. ok, today i am coming to terms with a secret addiction of mine. i've been addicted for years now, and today i'm taking responsibility and saying, "enough."
i am addicted to ice. you know, the kind that floats in the head of the Kool-aid man (the big fat sweaty pitcher of red sweetness and artificial goodness that constantly smiles and sloshes from side to side without his innerds falling out). i have an addiction to water at the temperature of 32 degrees farenheit... on bad days sometimes colder.
its pretty serious. some nights ive found myself staring at the walls as i dip my nearly frostbitten hand into a cup filled with an ice tray's worth of ice. during exams sometimes i'd keep 5 ice trays in the freezer so that i could eat to trays at a time. and i could rotate. if the ice wasnt solid, i'd eat the odd tray to keep me going.
my father made me come to terms with myself tonight. he caught me my sacred act of ice munching (haha, hold your tongue and say "ice muching."). i knew i had a problem when i woke from my glazed strung out stare when my father hit me forcefully over the head with the newspaper he was reading and demanded that i quit chewing ice.
right about now, you may be asking: why am i telling you all this? because i feel like i've led 2 lives-- like i've been living a lie. like i've been playing charades with a blind person; its just not fair.
so im going through a purification process. the first step is to say-- yes, i have a problem. the second is to understand my problem.
i believe my addiction to ice is a combination of two things. the first most obviously would be an oral fixation. and the second part of my problem would stem from a yearning to feel something. and what i mean by this is... i chew ice because i have an oral fixation. and this oral fixation is something i've always felt compelled to hide from the world. and living this double life has brought a certain emptiness to my-SELF. the ice in all its coldness is something to feel. so this is all sel-perpetuating. its serious and it needs to stop.
my father fears that i will break a tooth; teeth are very valuable things. and when i think about it, i dont want to lose a tooth. i mean, lots of people would love to have a tooth. take babies for example-- the sooner they get teeth, the better life gets for them. and old people-- when they lose teeth, they die. i mean... how long does one want to live eating tapioca and pureed tuna casserole
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i need to say something. i've been thinking this over for a while and i think i need to let my loved ones know. i mean it is only fair that i live openly. i don't need to keep this a secret anymore. ok, today i am coming to terms with a secret addiction of mine. i've been addicted for years now, and today i'm taking responsibility and saying, "enough."
i am addicted to ice. you know, the kind that floats in the head of the Kool-aid man (the big fat sweaty pitcher of red sweetness and artificial goodness that constantly smiles and sloshes from side to side without his innerds falling out). i have an addiction to water at the temperature of 32 degrees farenheit... on bad days sometimes colder.
its pretty serious. some nights ive found myself staring at the walls as i dip my nearly frostbitten hand into a cup filled with an ice tray's worth of ice. during exams sometimes i'd keep 5 ice trays in the freezer so that i could eat to trays at a time. and i could rotate. if the ice wasnt solid, i'd eat the odd tray to keep me going.
my father made me come to terms with myself tonight. he caught me my sacred act of ice munching (haha, hold your tongue and say "ice muching."). i knew i had a problem when i woke from my glazed strung out stare when my father hit me forcefully over the head with the newspaper he was reading and demanded that i quit chewing ice.
right about now, you may be asking: why am i telling you all this? because i feel like i've led 2 lives-- like i've been living a lie. like i've been playing charades with a blind person; its just not fair.
so im going through a purification process. the first step is to say-- yes, i have a problem. the second is to understand my problem.
i believe my addiction to ice is a combination of two things. the first most obviously would be an oral fixation. and the second part of my problem would stem from a yearning to feel something. and what i mean by this is... i chew ice because i have an oral fixation. and this oral fixation is something i've always felt compelled to hide from the world. and living this double life has brought a certain emptiness to my-SELF. the ice in all its coldness is something to feel. so this is all sel-perpetuating. its serious and it needs to stop.
my father fears that i will break a tooth; teeth are very valuable things. and when i think about it, i dont want to lose a tooth. i mean, lots of people would love to have a tooth. take babies for example-- the sooner they get teeth, the better life gets for them. and old people-- when they lose teeth, they die. i mean... how long does one want to live eating tapioca and pureed tuna casserole <tremble, tremble> all the time? or even worse, to be on those denture commercials. why do you think they show the same denture adhesive commericals for 30 years? because the old people die after a few years of having no teeth, so they can't make new commercials.
i know that i no longer need to feel empty. 32 degrees in my mouth is nothing to feel anyways. there are more important things in life to feel in places other than my mouth. like love (not like Kilo's song) in my HEART and conviction in my mind. i understand my problem, so now i must beat this oral fixation. i'll need your support, guys. its gonna be tough. ice is everywhere these days. but i think i can do it. with your support and god's hand, i can just say no to ice.
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